mmOvercome limiting beliefs by making room for the emotions they create

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Group Calls: Monday @ 6 p.m. EST and Thursday @ 7 p.m. EST

Book Club: Wednesday @ 7 p.m. EST and Office Hours: Tuesday @ 2 p.m. EST

Use the following links to add the meetings to your calendar for recurring access.

Monday 6 p.m. EST
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Thursday 7 p.m. EST
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Below are Dropbox links to recordings of group calls. Catch up if you missed it or re-listen to hear something new.

Thursday Jan 12:  Colleen shares a 4-step self-coaching process for how to challenge limiting beliefs by leaning into the emotions they create. We’re programed to eat, drink, deny and otherwise avoid our feelings. We actually fear our feelings MORE than external circumstances. When you realize that emotions aren’t actually painful, you can use them to grow.

Thursday Dec 9: Colleen opens with an explanation of the difference between anxiety and worry. Worry is a behavior–it’s a thought process. Which means we CAN control it if we change our thinking patterns. Anxiety is an emotion–we can’t control it, but we can manage it. Learn the false beliefs that keep us on the worry wagon, and the three steps you can take to manage anxiety–and how long it takes for lasting change to happen. 

Monday Dec 6: We discussed how language impacts our perception that there’s too much to do and that we don’t have time for ourselves. Words don’t just express our emotions, they create them. The words “I’m worried about triggers in the airport” versus “I’m excited to have alone time in the airport and listen to the book I’ve been wanting to read” change the way we feel and thus the outcome.

Thursday Dec 2: I start with a short reading of a woman telling her story from 2 different perspectives. We discussed the power of words–and how the Bible and other sacred texts frame The Word as a tool of creation. We did a simple exercise–each of us chosing a negative belief we have about ourselves. We looked at where the belief came from, how it limits us and becomes a self fulfilling prophesy.

Monday Nov 22: We discuss how and why it’s so difficult to manage our minds, and the underlying beliefs that create anxiety. There are several deep shares that give us an up close and personal look at the struggle we each have with negative self-talk. 

Thursday Nov 18: We discuss the conditions we put on the love that block us from love. And how “self-care” includes taking care of our nervous system and noticing the stories that cause us distress. Shifting our focus from the narrative we are imagining into the body that we are experiencing allows us to heal.

Monday Nov 15: Tonight we discuss the idea that we can “take responsibility what we see.” We know that thoughts trigger our emotions, and emotions drive behaviors, and behaviors create our reality (thus proving our thoughts true). But the mind-blower is that thoughts are not the result of our circumstances and experiences. Thoughts come from our programming–beliefs instilled in childhood, opinions we adopt from our culture and old stories stuck on repeat–all the “shoulds” that lead to expectations. The more words you need to explain why you’re upset, the more your emotions are tied to imaginative stories that you can choose to let go of (if they aren’t serving you).

Thursday Nov 4: Colleen begins with an introduction to Don Miguel Ruiz Jr.’s Five Levels of Attachment. He says the source of self-judgment is our attachment to the ideals we us to define our identity. They become conditions for self-acceptance and self-rejection. What is self-love? Self-care? The difference between forgiveness and acceptance? Day-to-day we must decide when to “do” (take action) and when to “be.” Humaning is hard.

Monday Nov 1 — We discuss the purpose of the group calls and modules, and how each of our needs change from day to day. The group brainstorms about ideal ways to get and give accountability, support and community. Colleen explains the difference between coaching and other types of “help,” and how coaching is meant to be self-directed. Ultimately, sobriety is actually just a vehicle for self-care, and most of us are here because we’re really bad at that.

Monday Oct 25 — Colleen begins the meeting by explaining how it’s normal to be distracted 50 percent of the time (on a good day–more on stressful days). This means much of what we perceive actually takes place in our head. While there are many tools to manage our minds (thought models, etc.), the most powerful tool in any moment is to learn how to “escape” to the present–where almost always, nothing bad is actually happening. The group moves into a discussion on how we each must decide where we want to land in the “sober identity” and the value of staying “in the literature.”

Thursday Oct 21 — I’m on a Pema Chodron kick–started tonight’s meeting with another quote from her. It may seem counterintuitive to NOT rely on hope, and to start a journey feeling hopeless, but if that’s where you are, that’s where you must start.

“Hope and fear come from feeling that we lack something. We can’t simply relax with ourselves. We hold onto hope to escape the present moment. We feel that someone else knows what’s going on, but that there’s something missing in us, and lacking in our world. 

Rather than letting our negativity get the better of us, we could acknowledge that right now, we feel like a piece of shit, and not be squeamish about taking a good look. That’s the compassionate thing to do. That’s the brave thing to do. We could smell that piece of shit. We could feel it; what is its texture, color and shape? We can explore the nature of that piece of shit. We can know the nature of dislike, shame and embarrassment and not believe there’s something wrong with that. We can drop the fundamental hope that there is a better “me” who one day will emerge. We could begin the journey without hope of getting ground under our feet. Begin with hopelessness.”  Pema Chodron

Monday Oct 18 — We open the meeting with a Pema Chodron quote about discomfort not always meaning bad news. Then we discuss how quitting drinking is the tip of the iceberg. (Colleen apologizes for not highlighting the fine print on your breakthrough calls.) The group coaches Wendy on the “peanut butter knife” issue, and the various ways to approach irritation and discomfort.

Thursday Oct 14 — Colleen spends the first 15 minutes of the conversation discussing on-going changes to the website since getting kicked into the Facebook void, including the new texting app. Also gives a teaser (and only a teaser cuz that’s all she’s got) of the group coaching program that she will be launching for anyone wanting to continue their recovery journey with her. The conversation gets serious with a discussion on the use of SSRIs and other drugs. How they impacted the development of AUD, and when and if people are using them to help PAWS and/or trying to taper off. It’s complicated and very personal.

Monday Oct 11 — Dopamine (the neurotransmitter that makes us feel excited to pursue something) competes with the neurotransmitters that allow us to feel satisfied (serotonin, oxytocin and other endorphins). This is why the more we drank, the less we were able to enjoy it–we were more concerned about having “enough.” Also, we discuss willpower and the importance of staying connected to a sober community of supportive women.

Thursday Oct 7 — We start the call with a case study in emotional management, and discuss the role that negative self-talk plays with stress [spoiler alert–it ramps it up]. Several of us share links to some of our favorite meditations too.

Monday October 4 — Colleen shares her sober retreat adventures and how she discovered her spirit animal is a cockroach. Discuss spirituality, oracle cards, some religion and dealing with partners and dating in early sobriety.

Monday Sept 27 — What’s working and how to improve Recovery University, Self-care and mental health, separating our feelings from thoughts.

Thursday Sept 23–discuss sugar cravings and how to handle them, and how and why to prioritize our self care, forward to 10:30 to skip entry chit chat.

Monday Sept 20–discuss low energy, the impact of hormones on how we feel and together we process a recent relapse, forward to 8:45 to skip entry chit chat.

Archives: Wednesday July 14 Wednesday July 21 Monday July 26 Wednesday July 28 Monday August 2 Wednesday August 4 Monday August 9 Wednesday Aug 11 Monday Aug 16 Wednesday Aug 18 Monday Aug 23 Wednesday Aug 25 Monday Aug 30 Wednesday Sept 1 Monday Sept 6 Wednesday Sept 8 Monday Sept 13 Wednesday Sept 15